how a little one changes your life

well, today marks my final day as a nanny. as i have mentioned several times in the past few months i have been stressed. this stress i suppose is a result of trying to do so many things at once- be a great wife, excel in school, balance work and friendships, but has left me exhausted. i was battling trying to do all of these things that i wanted to do, but because i was doing too much, i wasn't able to do any of them well. so after much thought and consideration i decided that it was time to leave my full time nanny position and work part time in an office until i complete my masters degree. this was such a hard decision for me, i loved being nanny. i love holding a baby in my arms everyday  and i ache thinking that this is no longer going to be the norm. but i know i have to do it for me and that i was being stretched and pulled in to many directions, and that doesn't make a good nanny at all.

nannying has really changed who i am as a person. i have learned to love more and be selfless, i have learned how a child grows so rapidly and the beautiful blessing that children are. the babies i worked with filled my heart with such joy and passion to love more then i ever understood i could, a different kind of love then romantic or sisterly love. i  have been so blessed that i had the opportunity to work with them and have them forever change my life. i can't imagine what these next few months will look like as i transition out of this role i've know and been comfortable in but i know it's right, and that all things, good and bad, are difficult to transition out of. i am so joyful for the opportunity to be apart of a little ones life, and i cannot wait to see her grow from afar. i am so blessed to have these memories of being a nanny and it makes me so excited to be a mama in the far future. it is so funny how little ones make such a mark on ones heart and forever changes them.  i know i sound so sappy (and that may be attributed to the stress i still am feeling) but it's a happy-sad, one that i know is right but will be hard.

so cheers to the end of a beautiful, influential chapter in my life, i am so thankful for you baby girl and how you created so much joy in my life for this past year.